To My Beloved Paolo, Dianne & Dionne,
Did I ever tell you I really don’t like Christmas …. all the traffic, the impatient drivers, the pushing and shoving in public areas, the frantic search for perfect gifts, the exorbitant prices in most shopping centers, the pressure to cook for noche buena, meeting relatives you don’t like in family reunions etc etc? By some twist of fate, your Mom is also at her lowest in Christmas this year because I have lost some very valuable things. This is exactly the reason why I can only blame Christmas because it creates a spirit of needless want in others, fosters unrealistic expectations and breeds loneliness.
Yet all is not lost between Christmas and me because I have you, or rather, that we have each other on this special day. Having you means I can look beyond the material veneer of Christmas and see it in all the childish anticipation in your eyes. Having you means searching the world for all the toys in the list you gave me because that is what a good mother must do. Because that is what I must do to compensate for these guilty feelings I have for leaving you at home and working instead.For making that painful choice of having an ‘incomplete’ family instead of coping with an ‘unhappy’ family.
So Christmas will be one of those rare times when your harassed mom finds herself puttering in the kitchen to bake those cookies and prepare that roast. When we make our pilgrimage to Bulacan to see your lola, your titas and nephews.
If you ask me anak, my greatest souvenir of Christmas was when you gave me those cards you made in school. when I thought “Merry Christmas Mom & I love you” were the best phrases I read the whole year. Of course I also can’t wait for you Paolo to open your piggy bank and see what gift you have in mind for me. *wink
Yes I have my shortcomings and I can never claim to be the perfect mother. But Christmas seems to be the best time to tell you that I love you and will never leave you. To thank God because he has given me the opportunity to be a parent to the three of you ~ not the most coveted job in the world but certainly the most rewarding. There is no greater joy for me than hugging and kissing you all and thanking Him for giving me beautiful creations in all of you. There will be more frenzied December days to come but we will survive everything with God’s help.