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Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as “Lawyer”, and the
party of the second part, also known as “Light Bulb”, do hereby and forthwith
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Excellent day for putting Slinkies on an escalator.
I fell asleep reading a dull book, and I dreamt that I was reading on,
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Lord, what fools these mortals be!
– William Shakespeare, “A Midsummer-Night’s Dream”
So this is it. We’re going to die.

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Your talents will be recognized and suitably rewarded.
Q: What do agnostic, insomniac dyslexics do at night?
A: Stay awake and wonder if there’s a dog.

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The smallest worm will turn being trodden on.
– William Shakespeare, “Henry VI”
FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #5
A: The Halls of Montezuma and the Shores of Tripoli.
Q: Name two families whose kids won’t join …

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Accent on helpful side of your nature. Drain the moat.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: He was giving it last rites.

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Q: Heard about the who couldn’t spell?
A: He spent the night in a warehouse.
You look like a million dollars. All green and wrinkled.

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Q: How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem
to the earlier joke.
If you can read this, you’re too clo…

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Is that really YOU that is reading this?
Q: What looks like a cat, flies like a bat, brays like a donkey, and
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A: Nothing.

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Delores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever
skipping along smooth water, rippling reality sporadically but oblivious
to it consistently, until she finally lost momen…