1. They forget appointments.
2. They don’t notice your haircut.
3. They leave their socks lying around.
4. They can be so obsessive-compulsive about keeping things in their proper place.
5. They are more figure- and beauty-conscious than you.
6. They eat only fresh banana and muesli for breakfast.
7. They have the guts to say: “I think you should get a liposuction.”
8. They eat like a pig.
9. They snore.
10. All they do is watch television.
11. They gawk at women with big breasts.
12. They laugh at women with big breasts and no butt.
13. Admittedly, they are more tsismoso than women.
14. They chat too much.
15. They’re such cheapskates they only send you text messages through YM and Chikka.
16. They pick the wrong gifts.
17. But still you are forced to say “My! This is the loveliest piece of (shit) I’ve ever seen!”
18. Their idea of unwinding after a long day is a bottle of beer…in a beerhouse.
19. Their idea of fashion is orange polo shirt over jeans and rubber shoes.
20. They’re so finicky they don’t want a single crease on their pants.
21. They wear colored underwear… as in
purple and green
22. They can’t sit still without looking at their cellphone for 10 minutes.
23. They text shamelessly on dates.
24. They keep pictures of their wives/girlfriends in their wallets while openly philandering.
25. They call every girl “sweetheart” and “my dear.”
26. They send you emails meant for someone else.
27. They’re such lousy performers in bed.
28. They’re such goood performers in bed but won’t commit.
29. They forget they don’t stand a chance with Diana Zubiri.
30. They’re so obsessed with the eighteeners and twenty-somethings.
31. They won’t do housework.
32. They play music too loud.
33. They drive too fast.
34. They believe their secretaries more than you.
35. They abhor shopping.
36. They shop with you without giving you the shopping money.
37. They boast about bedding so many women when their dicks are so small,
it won’t even fit a gas tank.
38. They like you to go down on them without them going down on you.
39. They think you will be so crazy about them when they go down on you.
40. They expect you to be like their mother.
41. They make fun of women-drivers.
43. They are work-obsessed.
44. They kiss and tell.
45. They have no qualms looking at other women while with you.
46. They have to hang out with their male buddies on Friday nights.
47. They talk about sports all the time.
48. Sometimes, they are too silent. They take the phrase “man of few words to the extreme.”
49. All they want is sex.
50. They are so dense. Case in point: an ex who read this entry asked me: “hindi naman ako ganon di ba?”
*** With apologies to the smug-marrieds and my happily-married/committed friends who wholeheartedly believe in the love & eternity stuff. Of course, am just acting like a pretentious/hypocritical git. *sigh* I need someone…preferably none of the above.