There were all those “virgin” stories I heard growing up and my impression is that virginity was more of an ideal rather than a reality.
There were these male buddies of mine who turned cold on their girlfriends after realizing that they were no longer “virgins.”
And a close friend who recounts with disgust at every opportunity her first experience with her male neighbor who “disappeared” just as soon as he got her virginity, at the age of 18.
Or how about this former colleague of mine who never failed to announce to the male crew at the cruise ship that we were working that she was a Filipina “virgin?” Never mind if I cringed at the thought since I very well knew she had left a husband and two children back home!!
Virginity, what’s the big deal?
Definitely, it was a big deal to me back in my innocent days when I hang on to it for dear life amid the come-ons and advances of my admirers. I lost The Virginity relatively late when I was approaching my mid 20s and well into my fifth boyfriend. I remember that there was nothing to be enjoyed about it .. the hurt and the pain, though they did say the hurt and the pain would transform to extreme pleasure after a few times of trying. Hmm, totoo nga 😛
but I really wouldn’t enjoy sex for all it’s worth until a decade later.
Of course the painful episode would have turned into a boring ending if I married The Devirginator but I chose not to. I was even engaged again to somebody after that. I guess plain old peer pressure made me lose my virginity at an age when I was ripe enough to vote, live alone and ovulate. But if I have to advise my daughters today, I’d tell them to keep their virtue if they like,or lose it, provided that they are ready for it and not let anybody – much less their peers – decide what’s good for their body or their future.
Virginity after all doesn’t ensure everlasting happiness. Keeping ourselves pure presupposes that our partners will also be loyal, faithful, devoted and will do the most pleasurable things to us in bed.
But it doesn’t always happen that way.
Look what happened to the “virginal” Princess Diana who had to contend with the worldly and divorced Camilla all throughout her short married life..
and the disillusionment possibly faced by some virgin brides who have to contend with a four-inch dick and/or a sexual dysfunction during their honeymoon and for the rest of their lives!?
The crux of the matter is that all virgin brides deserve to marry the best lovers of their lives.
Without having to compare the availability of good-performing bananas around.
The Devirginator… haha! I like that name for an old boyfriend. 🙂 But seriously, I like your advice for your daughters. Peer pressure is hard to resist and I guess more mothers ought to talk to their daughters about sex to help them deal with it… I mean both the peer pressure and the sex.
Cool Ajay! I have yet to decide what advice I’ll give my future “girls” when I finally have one. Kakatakot talaga mag baby girl. 😮
Do you know that these days, as young as 7th grader girls are giving BJs to boys to up their popularity. Not really considering that as “sex”. I’m telling my daughter frankly, don’t get down on anybody who won’t go down on you. I should really be relieved I don’t have children….but I’m not.
Yes I think it’s better to be open to children, when they’re at the right age, about sexuality because hiding the matter might make them all the more curious and vulnerable to peer pressure..
Hahaha Tin, I didn’t know it was that wild where you are. That’s why I think it’s always better to raise children in good ol’ PI. I have a friend whose husband didn’t go down on her all the 15 years they’re married (another argument about being a virgin and not knowing anything about your partner’s idiosyncrasies) For those teens, It’s not really a matter of a guy reciprocally going down on you but being able to say NO when you don’t feel like it:cool:
The Devirginator – new trerm. hehehe. i think it’s still a big deal especially these days where sex is everywhere. as pinayhekmi said, even 7th graders “do it.” big deal since it would really take a lot of self-discipline. not only for the girls but for the guys as well 🙂
my daughter is going to hate us. the day we found out she’s a girl her Dad said he’s going to ask his Dad’s gun collection. 😆
i was thinking of just locking her up in her room ’till she’s 30. 😈
Amen to that Tin. There’s something to be said about those teens who refuse to feel pressured if everybody’s doing it..
Oh my, tough times ahead Dexie. 🙂 Surely with both your guidance she’ll turn out well. How’s the pregnancy going?:wink:
I’m only 17 year old and I admit I’M NOT A VIRGIN ANYMORE!:!:
That’s the spirit, Ang-ang! 😀
I was a virgin when we got married and I don’t regret it one minute. Although my husband was not a virgin he respected my pledge of virginity and took pride in the fact that I had waited for the perfect man, in other words I waited for him. I had dated a number of other men, but he was my first and only real love and he claimed the same. No concern that he would be sexually disfunctional or that he would be too small, because once we became deeply in love we explored each other’s bodies during courtship and he gently coaxed me to go with him physically beyond where I had ever been before. He was a gentleman in not pushing vaginal intercourse and we waited until our wedding night for that. Because of our abstinence and pent-up excitement, our honeymoon was extremely passionate and sexy. After three years of marriage we are still very much in love and lust with each other and I love knowing that I saved myself for my one and only man.
Thanks for sharing Debbie. Hopefully, everyone will end up with such a good experience as yours:wink: