Ending a relationship is never fun. It can be a tumultuous time in your life, and one that is filled with stress, anxiety and low moods. While it is almost always highly difficult when a relationship needs to end, there is research that indicates that some ways of breaking up are truly better than others.
In fact, according to an expert family lawyer in Melbourne, it is possible to learn how to break up with someone compassionately and effectively through healthy communication. In this article, we will have a look at the importance of effective communication when ending a relationship, so grab a cuppa and read on…
NEVER HIDE BEHIND A PHONE OR A SCREEN
One of the ways in which most of us think it is easiest to end a relationship is via a text message or online. Whilst this is the easy way out, it is not the most effective or communicative way of ending things. As difficult as it is, tell your partner that you need to speak to them in person, whether it is over a coffee or dinner.
Always remember, do this as close to the actual date and time as possible. It is unfair to unnecessarily leave someone in the dark for too long. Whilst ending a relationship in person is one of the most difficult things you could do, always remember that you are giving your partner the respect they deserve by not hiding behind a phone or computer screen.
AVOID THE BLAME GAME
Yes, I’m sure that there are very legitimate reasons for why you want to end a relationship, but always remember that the blame game does not do anyone any good. Do not blame your partner the things they have done in the past, and also do not allow them to drag you into negativity and conflict with their responses.
Instead, try to focus on maintaining a positive, open and direct conversation. This will help you reduce the likelihood of ending your relationship on a sour note—and of later regret over saying awful, unkind things in the heat of the moment.
FIND MUTUAL BENEFIT
Even in the midst of a breakup or separation, relationships are still a social exchange, and there is still the possibility of mutual benefit. This is why it is still important to focus on where you can meet your needs as well as your partner’s. If your partner is agreeable, try to make the transition to friendship easier by being helpful and supportive through this time of need.
It is good to check up on how each other is doing, to be sure that both of you are going on with your lives in a healthy and positive manner. Although never ideal, always try to make sure that the ending of a relationship meets the needs of everyone involved as best as possible.
REMEMBER TO SHARE THE POSITIVES
While there have been negatives that have led up to the end of a relationship, it is important that you do not discredit your partner for all the positives they have brought to your life as well.
When in conversation, make sure to emphasise on the good things that your partner has done for you, and remind them that you have not forgotten all that they have done. Tell them that you do not regret any of the time you spent together, even if future needs or circumstances are sending you in different directions. Be grateful for the time you had, and let them know that they have played a vital role in your life.
We hope that this article has helped you understand the importance of effective communication when ending a relationship. Whenever possible, it is best to never part on bad terms. Life is too short for arguments, anger and vindication, so set yourself free with love, compassion and empathy.